Lui

lui from Will Rucker on Vimeo.

When We First Started Dating

Autumn

Early on in college, a walk across campus meant something more than just a way of getting to and from class. My attention to the details all around me drove me insane with this feeling of vagrancy. Oklahoma Boulevard got in my face and demanded me to get something out of it. I could see myself in trees. Breeze flowing through brush had life in it. Fall season came with a bang at my front door every October and it tainted the sound of everything.

A Waste I Make of Most Days

The day doesn't start until I'm out the front door and getting the blood flowing, walking down alleys and staring up at trees. The first part of the morning inhered microwaving the cup of coffee every fifteen minutes because the cats distract me from drinking it while there's steam rising. A waste this morning is, I tell myself. A waste I make of it most days.

The trees bend and some smaller branches break off. There is a cacophony of wafting whirlwind breaking through the alleyway. The rain had subsided before I started off on the walk but begins to pick back up. I'm too confronted with myself this morning to care about getting wet, the bitterness I have toward my lack of openness with nearly everyone around me.

I pray every night to God he'll show me how to love. More clearly how to verbalize my concerns and cares. And just be real. I think my friends know my love for them. A lot of them, I've told. I just can't seem to cut myself a break and I keep shoving at myself this anger - there's more love I can give, more specifically, in accordance with last night, a better reaction and words to follow it. My dear friend didn't get the job he was wanting. I could see in his face the disappointment. I don't know what to do with my face when I am told bad news.

Wall Journal

What's To Come

what's to come from Will Rucker on Vimeo.

Phone Conversations

This is a sound project I made for a class. I tried my best to make 3 separate strewn together phone conversations between a man and woman. Basically, the gist is this: a) guy asks girl out, b) girl breaks up with guy, c) girl wants guy back...

I used 25 different clips from several different movies and television shows. See if you can guess what they are:

Color Kill

Marriage

Marriage is a sanctifying thing. I find myself misunderstood every day by classmates, coworkers, and even best friends. But no one knows me like my wife knows me. I find that fascinating.

People will judge you and mistake your motives as evil or unfriendly. But your spouse most always will know your heart and the reason for your actions. Do not take this for granted.

Remain A Listener

When I go back and watch videos I made three or four years ago, I feel heavy. I am glad I no longer comprise emotions of such weight. Though, the gravity of my sorrow is what caused me to share and listen. I wish I still carried the same companionship I sustained then.

I feel too confused these days with what man I should have already become. Back then, I knew I was on a path, becoming something, searching. Now I feel like I've walked down the path and I'm looking back at my footsteps, wondering where those imprints led me. Did I change paths? Do I forget the past?

Only God knows and I want to remain a listener.

Favorite Live Moments

favorite live moments from Will Rucker on Vimeo.

Maurer Wedding

MAURER wedding from Will Rucker on Vimeo.

This is a sample of the film I made for Hayley and Justin Maurer. Married on October 22nd, 2011.

New Yorkers

new yorkers from Will Rucker on Vimeo.

A visit with my new family.

I Share It With You

I'm constantly shutting doors because I'm afraid of messing up, but I shut the door - so I messed up. I just have trouble actually seeing myself succeeding at this whole thing, making a living doing what I love doing.

I am so proud of her and I think she is so fascinating. My heart grows ten sizes bigger every day just because she's alive, and she makes me cry (or at least want to) and act funny. I like holding your belongings and feeling like I share it with you.

Peeling An Orange

My friends were wondering if I was alright
back when they shot the shit
on the back deck
smoking a cigarette

and I didn't come out of my room.

I keep hoping they understand now
but I think I'm still in my room.

I wish I could peel an orange on the front porch,
and my wife is hooked to me
on the swing
still.

But I always have this drama
and this deep career manifested
in dealing with myself.

I will always hate myself mostly
and it scares me.

I think about my mom
and how she wishes I loved myself
and how God loves me
and I am fearful of the seventy years I have left
bearing kids
and loving my wife
in a life where I want to be happy
but try too hard.