I'm serious about you.

It's nearly impossible to write about you.
You told me the same thing earlier.
It's mostly because we've told each other
once or twice a year for seven years
as many thoughts as we could.

But I figured out what it really is.
Why it's so hard to navigate
my feelings for you.

It's like trying to describe why you love
something that dug in to your bones
and seemingly redirected
the flow of your blood.

Isn't it easy to describe a thing you hate?
There are movies I hate. And I could
go on and on why I hated them.
But when I see a movie that gets me

it's just so hard for me
to even get started talking.
Why it hit me and made my thoughts
so big, they almost evaporated
like when you try to think of
how God has always been
and how the universe expands.

It's hard to write about something I love.
I want to make sure I get it just right
because it really is just like so.

One thing I can say is this. We may not
be the most youthful couple making out
in the park and staying up until
the butt crack of dawn just
talking like we used to.

But I can say that I am very serious
about you and all of this.
And as you know
far too well,

I get very very very serious
about the things I love.

You kissed her cheek back.

Knox fell off his bike
and a tiny cut from the sidewalk
gave him a band-aid on two fingers
one on each hand.

I was in the middle of my head,
work following me from my office
while I filled the coffee mug
and tried to make things work.

This is always precisely the moment
when I find out you're hurt.
It's only barely even a scratch
but you haven't had many scratches.

I'm so glad you have Darcy.
You began telling me how much it hurt.
She stood right in front of you.
Looked you dead in the eyes and said,
"I'm so sorry, Knox."

She practically whispered it.
So soft and heart-shatteringly cute.
She said it with a two-year old's version
of what genuine looks like to them.

She hugged you
and gently kissed your cheek.

You hugged her back
and you gently kissed her cheek back.

The bond of a brother and his little sister.

Hide There a Bit

I set high standards
for myself to not achieve
and it cripples me.

Once a month or two
I appear evil to you,
Knox and Darcy too.

Why does my voice raise?
My emotions escalate
in an argument?

There is the hallway.
I'll take it to the bedroom
and hide there a bit.

Because I'm a Boy

I didn't have any work last Friday and so Andrea took a subbing job at an elementary school in Collierville, leaving me with the kids all day.

I ran an errand to Aldi with K & D. While in the store, I was looking everywhere for this cinnamon hard candy Andrea had gotten recently. At one point, I said to myself, "Man, where is this cinnamon candy? I can't find it anywhere!"

Knox looked up at me from the grocery cart and said very matter-of-factly, "Oh, mom didn't get that at Aldi. She actually got it at Dollar Tree."

I said, "Knox! How in the world do you remember that?"

He just shrugged with a little smile.

Later we got in line and I realized I forgot what K & D call "fizzy drink". It's the cheap version of La Croix. I think it's called La Víe. So I said," Oh shoot, I forgot to get the fizzy drink. Wait a second, I didn't see any. Nevermind. They must be out."

Then Knox said, "No. I saw it. They have some."

Sure enough, I stepped out of line to see if they had it. And yep. There it was.

I was enamored with him. I bent over to him and said, "Knox, how? How do you notice these things!?"

Knox had a very curious look on his face and said, "I don't know! Cos I'm a boy; and girls are good at buying things."

I laughed pretty hard and said, "There is a lot of truth in that."